In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays

retirement

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age

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from work has increased, and

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, there are more significant edges than drawbacks. Making a high

age

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limit for

retirement

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is beneficial for workers to gain profit more.

Firstly

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, working a lot of years can affect people's

pension

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amount. If they have a few years in their seniority it paves the way for creating a good

future

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retirement

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life. During their

last

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working years, they can save money for funding for

future

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investments. Gaining experience as a worker

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apply

show examples

leads to creating a

future

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successful company or startup in their major. Especially it is a good chance for the Information Technologies sector, as in

this

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sector they will have a good

future

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in their

pension

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period. Having

retirement

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can create a time for inventing or developing significant things in

this

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field.

On the other hand

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this

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statement had disadvantages for different professions

such

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as military or law enforcement. In those fields, people should have an early

retirement

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, as they had difficult and significant workdays during their attendance. İn order to create a strong and unpenetrable country, the government should take care of army officers

therefore

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they should have an early

pension

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age

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Additionally

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. having a high

age

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limit for

retirement

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is not eligible for adults. In high ages over 60, people are not insured from death, which means maybe they can not reach their

retirement

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age

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and their taxes for their

pension

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can not be available for them. İn conclusion, in my perspective

this

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change had more disadvantages than pros in some specific fields. Everyone should get their

retirement

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at an early

age

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to enjoy life.

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task achievement

Clarify examples and connect them more closely to the main point, especially when discussing the IT sector's benefits.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one clear point, with examples that directly support that point. This will help in maintaining logical structure.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of raising the retirement age.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, nicely framing the discussion.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical flow with clear points - first discussing advantages, then disadvantages, followed by a personal opinion.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
pension systems
financial pressure
economic growth
workforce
retirement savings
skills and knowledge transfer
job opportunities
health challenges
work-life balance
societal resistance
burnout
productivity
well-being

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In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it.

In order to be successful in sports, some people think you have to be physically strong. Others say that mental strength is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!