IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

cientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#cientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 is crucial to
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
. The majority of the community are not consumed healthy
foods
Use synonyms
 because of numerous reasons
such
Linking Words
 as long working hours in the job field, and spending time on TV and the internet. They mainly prefer fast
foods
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 to provide daily nourishment due to fast preparation.
This
Linking Words
 eating habit leads to the
health
Use synonyms
 problems
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, cardiovascular diseases and hipper tension. Some believe
education
Use synonyms
 is the main factor to force
people
Use synonyms
 to prefer a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
, but others consider that way will not work. I strongly believe
education
Use synonyms
 can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 not to use
snacks
Use synonyms
. The eating habits of society are different from the past. Almost all members of the household except teenagers have to support the budget of the family. They spend a long time in the working areas and they are not able to eat homemade meals and they must prefer fast
foods
Use synonyms
 or
snacks
Use synonyms
. As we know, ingredients of convenience
food
Use synonyms
 lead to fatness and have almost no benefits.
Additionally
Linking Words
, eating
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 when
people
Use synonyms
 watch TV is another harmful habit to harm the community's
health
Use synonyms
. Actually, the population consume more
snacks
Use synonyms
 which can destroy the balance of the human body, while they are watching.
Moreover
Linking Words
, consumption of convenience
food
Use synonyms
 can cause plenty of diseases like being overweight and heart diseases. Precisely, the influence of
education
Use synonyms
 can not be doubted to prefer proper
diet
Use synonyms
. Educated
people
Use synonyms
 have the ability to know damages of the
junk
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, they search
foods
Use synonyms
 that can be beneficial for a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they totally care about the components of the
foods
Use synonyms
 when they buy a sort of snack.
Further
Linking Words
, the negative impact of convenience
food
Use synonyms
 can be easily understandable by them. I have never seen a way that can be efficient like
education
Use synonyms
. I consider
education
Use synonyms
 the only way that can help to understand the damage of the
snacks
Use synonyms
. İn conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should select a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
, because their
health
Use synonyms
 can be easily affected by unhealthy nourishment. İf
people
Use synonyms
 desire to be healthy, they fiercely do not consume
junk
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by evren on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: