IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.

#research #time #office #energy #electricity #gas #companies #week #advantage #development #outhweight
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Experts point out that people don't have to spend a great deal of
time
 in
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 in order to save energy.
Therefore
,some working institutions close for some days per week.
This
 essay will delve into the details of
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
as well as
 demerits that regard the given topic.  To commence with,currently,because of inflation and fiscal dilemmas, there is a lack of energy.
Hence
,a lot of scientists have rendered some potential solution, which is less
time
 should be spent in the office
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 procedures to tackle
this
 issue.
As a result
, some major
companies
 restrict the amount of
time
 that spend on discs. To illustrate
this
, in the U.K., three primary
companies
 applied a new rule that working from home is mandatory. Within a relatively short period of
time
, the pills of electricity and gas were in the minority. Not only
this
, but the profits of those
companies
 were on the rise.
Consequently
, what other
companies
 and governments have to do is follow
this
 approach because of the positive consequences that were brought about.
However
, despite
this
, there are some disadvantages in
this
 situation.
Firstly
, Not all the authorities
as well as
 working institutions are able to do
this
 strategy.
This
 is because some errands have to
achieve
Wrong verb form
be done
show examples
 in
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
,so it is not justified to limit the attendance
time
.
Moreover
, all of
this
 can pave the way for the
companies
 to
cutdown
Correct your spelling
cut down
show examples
 the wages of their employees.
Accordingly
, the number of redundant will be increased dramatically.So, the unemployment rate will be on
un
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 upward trend.Eventually, it would be better to address
this
 issue with other strategies owing to its drawbacks. In a nutshell, a thorough
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
analysis of
this
 subject, it is predicted that the advantages of
this
 concept are not as high as the disadvantages owing to the aforementioned reasons.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between paragraphs and clarity in presenting main points. Coherence can be improved by better structuring of the essay and cohesive devices usage.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to support each main point. Adding real-life data or statistics could help make the arguments more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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