IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.Discuss both views and give opinion.

#people #attention
Nowadays,people reckon that adverts are far more effective to manipulate the ones in society.
Although
 another section of society believes that they are no longer interested in
such
 things.In my ,opinion adverts always persuade them with their effects and revolutions. On one hand, the community get easily persuaded by the vibrant and improved technological properties of display because they are modified by a large number of software to bend the ideas and emotions of the public to buy the
product
 at any cost.
Hence
,folk easily get into these traps and try to get one
product
 whilst end up getting a few products
instead
.
For example
, in my personal experience in social ,media there is innumerable clothing boutique which we can shop at any time.But on the cover
Add a comma
,
show examples
they don't mention their brand name because they display their designs to get the attention of the buyer.
Moreover
,advert companies hold data about each person's search field to receive details about the products he or she prefers.Due to that, the population don't know
such
 tricks so they pay for that
product
 thinking that he/she succeeded.
On the other hand
, some locals have been used to commercials because whenever they are working adverts are popping out from everywhere.So they tend to make a blind eye and not even make a glance at
such
 things and they continue to do /her work.There is
this
 kind of crowd who knows all the tricks and tips advertising agencies play.To exemplify,if one is surfing through the net to find a laptop he will get notifications from each and every laptop dealer from a flock of sites.But he will continue his search neglecting those endorsements because he wants to get the best
product
. In conclusion,I think that it is easy to get interested in a
product
 from broadcast because of the way they present it and the technology they used.
Submitted by gihanagaya1993 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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