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Band 3.5

It is more effective if doctors do rounds (see patients in the hospital) in pairs, not individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #rounds #patients #pairs
It is argued that
doctors
 separately visiting
patients
 in the ward is better than seeing them together with
other doctor
Change the wording
another doctor
other doctors
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
 view and will give my reasons below
Firstly
, I
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
belived
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believe
 that strictly confidential
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
is
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are
show examples
 required during
patient 's
Correct article usage
a patient 's
show examples
 examination.
Patients
 do not want their
pivate
Correct your spelling
private
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 revealed, especially their diseases or health status . So it is much better if the
doctors
visiting
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visit
show examples
 them personally rather than with other medical
staffs
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staff
show examples
.
For example
, a female
patient
 doesn't like many
doctors
, particularly male
doctors
,
see
Correct pronoun usage
who see
show examples
 her body even in a hospital setting. If their privacy is unrevealed, they will provide many disease
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 as much as they can when the doctor
taking
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
. And
that is
 very essential for the treatment strategy.
On the other hand
, when doing rounds in
group
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
,there have some arguments that may
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occur
occurred
occured
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occur
. That can cause
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
confusing
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confusion
show examples
 in the
patient
 when
received
Wrong verb form
receiving
show examples
 consultations from the
doctors
. There are some
Correct your spelling
suspicions
suspisions
Correct your spelling
suspicions
 from
patients
 that may cause failure in the treatment. In conclusion, in my opinion, I totally disagree with the point that visiting
patients
 in
pair
Fix the agreement mistake
pairs
show examples
 is more efficient than seeing
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 individually. That would provide the best quality treatment when dealing with the
patient
.
Submitted by Andy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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