IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think certain prisoner should be made unpaid work instead of being put behind bar .. discus it with your own opinion.

#people #prisoner #work #bar #discus
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some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of
people
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 believe,
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people
Correct word choice
that people
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 who
convicted
Add a missing verb
are convicted
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 by court should work for
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community
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the community
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instead
Linking Words
 of being in the prison. they think
government
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the government
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 should
tries
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try
show examples
 to make them productive for the
country
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 and
community
Use synonyms
.
i
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I
show examples
 totally believe every
country
Use synonyms
 should prepare themselves to use
prisoners
Use synonyms
 to
Correct your spelling
work
weork
Correct your spelling
work
 as
unpaid
Add an article
an unpaid
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
. in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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i
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I
show examples
 going to
analysis
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analyse
show examples
this
Linking Words
 argument and its advantages and disadvantages. The
first
Linking Words
 reason is that it can be a good way to save money for
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country
Add an article
the country
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. and
also
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,
government
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the government
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 does not have to pay for some jobs if
prisoners
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 do that. so, authority not only does not pay money for looking after criminals but
also
Linking Words
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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do not pay
to
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apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
community
Use synonyms
 services.
for instance
Linking Words
, if convicted persons help old
people
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 to do their daily tasks, there will be
profit
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profitable
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 for both sides.
However
Linking Words
, relying on
people
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 who at least once committed
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
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 can be very dangerous for
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community
Add an article
the community
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. giving a little freedom to these
people
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 can have
bad
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a bad
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effect
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effects
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 and
subsequently
Linking Words
 regret. So,
i
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I
show examples
 think leadership should try
specific
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the specific
a specific
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case
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cases
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 to
counting
Wrong verb form
count
show examples
 on them. for
examples
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example
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, they should never give permission to a murderer to work as
unpaid
Add an article
an unpaid
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 worker. whereas, in some
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
Change preposition
in which
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which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 the crime
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 committed small, it is ok to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permission to them. to sum up, the whole world should prepare to give
this
Linking Words
 chance to
prisoners
Use synonyms
 but not all the
prisoners
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 just
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 do not
committed
Change the verb form
commit
show examples
 a big crime. if
this
Linking Words
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
,
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
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 will save
large
Change the article
a large
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 amount of money and they can spend on facilities and improvements.
Submitted by ario1381 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prison system
  • Rehabilitative justice
  • Unpaid work
  • Community service
  • Recidivism
  • Exploitation
  • Incarceration
  • Labor
  • Deterrence
  • Public safety
  • Oversight
  • Rehabilitation
  • Punishment
  • Ethical concerns
  • Practical considerations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: