Nowadays more and more older people complete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs #reason

In modern society, many countries are facing a situation, in which the average age is getting higher and higher some

people

believe that

this

is the reason why

people

who are involved in different

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

compete with each other to get a

job

. I want to say I agree with

this

idea.

Firstly

, I think the main reason is that the number of the young generation is decreasing so the society is composed of older

people

than the previous day.

For example

, especially in Korea, only a few

people

want to get married and have a baby. ,

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

this

sort of phenomenon leads to the extinction of one who can

work

. Several decades ago, sons or daughters used to give money or physical care to their parents to support them when they

can't

Wrong verb form

couldn't

show examples

work

anymore.

However

, these days they don't have any family who can take care of them. for that reason, more

people

work

longer even after they age.

Therefore

they are supposed to have an occupation like younger

people

Secondly

, to solve

this

problem, I think we need to promote improving

Correct article usage

the

show examples

birth to increase the number of

people

who can

work

. If older

people

don't need to get a

job

and enjoy their spare life, the younger generation can get more jobs than now. But as we know, It

Verb problem

takes

show examples

time taking

job

to apply

this

solution,

thus

we have to find other solutions

such

as creating jobs simultaneously. To summarize, our society confronts a challenge that makes

people

fight each other to get the same

job

. I consider one of the reasons is that the average age is getting higher and higher

due to

reduced

Correct article usage

the reduced

show examples

birth rate. and it leads that the elderly need to

work

after their physical expiration

expired

Wrong verb form

expires

show examples

and I think it can be solved by two solutions.

Submitted by eko2015 on Fri Aug 12 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the main argument and use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through the essay.

task achievement

Expand on the reasons and solutions provided in the essay to fully address the prompt and ensure that specific examples are relevant and fully developed.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays more and more older people complete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent to do agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Today in many countries people are living in a ‘throwaway” society where things are used for a short time and then throw away. What do you think is the cause and what problems will it lead to

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.