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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they should challenge the old thoughts. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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In our modern society, it is quite easy to see
variety
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a variety
the variety
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 of
opinions
Use synonyms
 between different generations. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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generation
Use synonyms
 should
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
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 well ideas of the old one,
still
Add a comma
,still
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 others argue that they should challenge the old
opinions
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 will be discussed,
then
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 I will state my opinion in conclusion.
First
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 of all, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that teenagers should follow the old thoughts because of the
religion
Replace the word
religious
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 aspect.
For example
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, respecting older
people
Use synonyms
 is
considerably
Replace the word
considered
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 vital for most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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religions, especially Buddhism which is believed by the majority of the citizens in my country.
Moreover
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, they have an opportunity that employees get fired if we do not follow elderly
opinions
Use synonyms
 in a company which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to a quite difficult situation for their life.
Thus
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,
this
Linking Words
 makes clear that teenagers should listen carefully
the
Change preposition
to the
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 old
generation
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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contrast, others believe that the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 should challenge the old ideas for making our society better.
For instance
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, new ideas from them are able to change companies in a wonderful way even though usually older
people
Use synonyms
 do not prefer changing systems. Recent research conducted by a famous university in New York showed that the United States have a large number of
Correct your spelling
successful
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 companies because they can express their opinion to the old
generation
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, it has become apparent that teenagers should say their
opinions
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. In conclusion, we discussed both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
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 in terms of religions and making our life better. In my opinion, we should challenge the old thoughts because
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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generation
Use synonyms
´s
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 with the new technology can change our society in a good way considerably. After a thorough analysis of
this
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 subject, it is predicted that the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 will try to express their
opinions
Use synonyms
 more in the future.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adhere to
  • guidance
  • wisdom
  • societal continuity
  • traditions
  • cultural values
  • life experiences
  • career choices
  • relationships
  • moral dilemmas
  • question
  • challenge
  • conventional wisdom
  • foster innovation
  • status quo
  • societal evolution
  • outdated practices
  • contemporary standards
  • critical thinking
  • adaptability
  • rapidly changing world
  • scrutinizing
  • inclusive
  • equitable
  • efficient systems
  • balanced approach
  • empowered
  • outdated or harmful traditions
  • preservation
  • innovation
  • refining
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