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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many places, people’s lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

#places #people’s #lifestyles #relationships #developments
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In recent years, people's lifestyles have changed significantly, in order to search for a better job, they leave their hometowns and their families.
This
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 essay is going to discuss the positive aspects and negative aspects of the issue and give my opinions
at the end
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 of the article. On the one hand, owing to the gap between metropolises and the countryside getting bigger, people who live in rural areas have an incline to move to big cities for better job opportunities and leave their elderly
parents
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 in their hometown.
Due to
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this
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 kind of situation, people are forced to separate from their
parents
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 and cannot take care of them in person, which might cause some problems.
For example
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, if there is something emergency happening to their
parents
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such
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 as a car accident, they are unable to stay with them.
In addition
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, because they cannot accompany their
parents
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, they might have some fights frequently and destroy their relationships.
On the other hand
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, an abundance of families living in the countryside have financial predicaments, and they always have disputes about money, so it might be a solution for them to leave their homes and work in city areas.
For instance
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, if they earn salaries and send them back to their
parents
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, it might prevent them from being famine or suffering from diseases;
therefore
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, the life quality will be better. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, I think the drawbacks of
this
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 kind of change in lifestyle outweigh the benefits. The government has to come up with some solutions to fix the gap so that we can make the
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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 of all regions
become
Verb problem
apply
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more balanced.
Submitted by wanyt88 on

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Task Response
Ensure that you provide a clear thesis statement and address all aspects of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to create a more cohesive structure.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions.
Grammatical Range
Work on the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures and grammar usage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • geographic separation
  • economic advancement
  • technological advancements
  • face-to-face interactions
  • egalitarian structures
  • gender roles
  • traditional roles
  • work demands
  • financial stability
  • access to education
  • healthcare
  • cultural shifts
  • traditions
  • cultural identity
  • family heritage
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