IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays,environment problems are too big to managed by individual person or individual countries.In other words it is an international problem.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#environment #person #countries
Environment pollution has been a pressing dilemma throughout the years.
This
 massive mistake might not be able to rectify by one man not a single country.
This
 has become a global issue currently.I completely agree and my ideas justify the same.
Firstly
,polluting air,
contaminating
Correct word choice
and contaminating
show examples
 water is an act
that is
 done by
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 severe
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
 like
this
 can not happen overnight.
Consequently
,negligence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is the major reason for
this
 error.
However
,it had already
impact
Wrong verb form
impacted
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local's lives by turning them unhealthier.Already
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of diseases
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 emerged.
For example
,due to usage of polluted water has become the reason
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 more than 50% of people who suffer from acute kidney failure.
Secondly
 and most importantly dirtying of forests,ecological disasters and emission of carbonic acids
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to global warming.
Besides
 that primarily due to the burning of fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
 is the major reason.Since deterioration of world' s ecology means the acts should be taken worldwide co-operations as well as preventive measures.To exemplify,since 1800 human activity has been the major cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global warming. To conclude,As I mentioned earlier damage to the environment done by
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 cannot be handled by a single folk.
Impact
Add an article
The impact
show examples
 has extended throughout the world so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prevention and
controlling
Change the form of the verb
control
show examples
 measures should take
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 global organizations.
Submitted by gihanagaya1993 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: