Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #money #source #happiness

Money

is the only thing through which you can buy every ease of life. By having property,

people

can live a luxurious life and do anything they want.

Firstly

, the

people

who are born with the golden spoon in their mouths do not know the value of

money

because they did not

work

hard to earn it.

On the other hand

, the

people

who

work

hard day and night and earn the

money

better know the worth of wealth.

For example

, if I consider myself, I am not born with the golden spoon in my mouth and It's my desire to build a house for my parents and for myself and I will be so happy if I get successful in doing so. The smile and happiness they will get after

this

will be enough for me.

Secondly

, society

know

Change the verb form

knows

show examples

the worth of property when they get through hard

work

and ultimately they get happiness. In order to earn enough

money

to spend your all growth with ease, you'll have to leave your comfort zone and

work

hard consistently. In the end when you earned it the smile you get will be the happiest moment of your life. Do any kind of

work

that makes you feel happy. Do not pay attention to the folk who make fun of you. Just focus on your goal, aim to earn the fund and just wait for that time when you will have a lot of

money

and

people

will be behind you. To conclude, wealth can definitely buy happiness if you earn it on your own. a community who get it from their ancestors do not know the worth of property and waste it on doing rubbish activities like going to bars doing parties etc.

Submitted by amirb0616 on Sat Aug 13 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness. Do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?