Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that the state budget should invest in several
art
activities with the aim of improving the quality of urban life. In my opinion, Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
this
idea could play a vital role in making citizens’ daily Linking Words
lives
better, Use synonyms
this
policy is not appropriate to all cases because of the orientation development in the cities.
Linking Words
To begin
with, it could be seen that an appreciation for Linking Words
art
could gain several benefits for citizens. Use synonyms
Firstly
it is true that Linking Words
art
brings significant meanings to a region. Use synonyms
Thus
, displaying paintings or status is one method in local museums or exhibitions to stimulate people being curious about their land and could Linking Words
also
provide a huge amount of knowledge relating to many aspects Linking Words
such
as regional history, culture or geography. Linking Words
Moreover
, the government could collect many Linking Words
arts
from local artists to boost their reputation in the public’s eyes and enhance the selling of their works, which means improving their living expenses. Use synonyms
Besides
, the local Linking Words
arts
usually describe the beauty of the local area through the living experience of the artists in the area. Use synonyms
Therefore
, people viewing these could feel closer to their views and curious about the cultural values in these to do more research on. Linking Words
As a result
, the quality of their Linking Words
lives
could stem from the interpretation of their region, Use synonyms
thus
it is suitable for the state to raise funds for Linking Words
art
.
Use synonyms
On the contrary
, I believe that many citizens have not felt satisfied that their administrators focus on the Linking Words
arts
, Use synonyms
due to
other top concerns still existing in their Linking Words
lives
. It could be seen that in many cities, their living standards are lower than the average. That means people would like to meet other fundamental living conditions Use synonyms
such
as accommodation, enough food or convenient transportation from the government, rather than many abstract definitions relating to Linking Words
art
. Use synonyms
For example
, Pleiku is an undeveloped city in the central highland of Viet Nam. To be more specific, its majority citizens belonging to the ethnic minority leads to an understandable point why they are careless in any terms of Linking Words
arts
rather than contributing to having a full stomach day by day. In Use synonyms
this
case, funding Linking Words
art
is an inappropriate idea, Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
apply
that
the nation should focus on developing basic infrastructure Correct word choice
apply
such
as building roads, schools, hospitals and industrial areas to make sure that the locals can receive general education to stand on their feet.
In conclusion, it is an applicable idea that the government could spend money on artwork to improve citizens’ quality Linking Words
lives
. Use synonyms
However
, I think that Linking Words
the first step is
to consider which policies meet the needs of the indigenous to invest money in an effective way.Linking Words
Submitted by phuonglinhlp.0900 on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher logical structure score, make sure that all paragraphs smoothly transition between ideas. Use a variety of linking words effectively and ensure that paragraphs support each other to form a more cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay included a clear introduction and conclusion, which is commendable. For an even better score, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarises the main points discussed and reflects on their implications or provides a final, decisive standpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with examples and explanations, which is good. To strengthen this aspect, develop your examples further to clearly demonstrate how they support your argument. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea, helping the reader to follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You responded well to the task, presenting a balanced view and a clear opinion. To improve your score, make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task, including addressing the question directly throughout the essay with a clear argument and strong conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive for the most part, but to enhance clarity, consider simplifying complex sentences and ensuring that each paragraph conveys a single clear point. This will help the reader follow your reasoning without getting lost in overly complex explanations.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, which is effective for task achievement. To enhance this, ensure that examples are fully developed and directly tied to the question prompt, clearly illustrating your argument and providing depth to your points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.