IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that all children should learn second language from the time they start school, while others believe that it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both views and give Your opinion.

#people #children #second #language #time #school #child
There has been a controversy about when is the best
time
 to learn a second
language
. I think all children should learn from the
time
 they start school. My reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First,
it's easier to learn a new
language
 when we are young. It has been reported that the ideal
time
 to learn a new
language
 is around 7 years old. At
this
 age, the
pronounciation
Correct your spelling
pronunciation
 organ is not mature yet;
therefore
, words can be pronounced properly. After puberty, the ability to learn a new
language
 will drop drastically. The notion of mother tone is established in our minds;
hence
, it takes more
time
 for our brains to accept a new
language
.
Second,
it's better for the brain to be used to a second
language
 earlier. It's expected that learning a new
language
 is a demanding and arduous progress; listening, speaking, writing, and reading are of the utmost importance.
Thus
, if children can come into contact with a new
language
 earlier,
such
 as
watching
Change preposition
by watching
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
foreign films or foreign news, which are helpful
to master
Change preposition
in mastering
show examples
this
language
.
On the other hand
, it can harm the sense of cultural belonging.
For instance
, it's difficult for a child to tell his culture when he grew up in a bilingual or trilingual family. Because he gets in touch with new languages too early, there are no mother
tone
Correct your spelling
tongue
show examples
 concepts in his mind;
therefore
, he can't distinguish his home culture. In conclusion, I believe it would be better if kids could start learning a new
language
 earlier.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be more clear and engaging to better frame the essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear points and reasons.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The arguments are logically organized and supported with relevant points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingualism
  • cognitive development
  • neuroplasticity
  • linguistic acquisition
  • multicultural competence
  • secondary language proficiency
  • core curriculum
  • language immersion
  • academic achievement
  • maturation
  • pedagogy
  • globalization
  • language pedagogy
  • retention rates
  • cultural enrichment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: