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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that all children should learn second language from the time they start school, while others believe that it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both views and give Your opinion.

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There has been a controversy about when is the best
time
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 to learn a second
language
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. I think all children should learn from the
time
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 they start school. My reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First,
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it's easier to learn a new
language
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 when we are young. It has been reported that the ideal
time
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 to learn a new
language
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 is around 7 years old. At
this
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 age, the
pronounciation
Correct your spelling
pronunciation
 organ is not mature yet;
therefore
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, words can be pronounced properly. After puberty, the ability to learn a new
language
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 will drop drastically. The notion of mother tone is established in our minds;
hence
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, it takes more
time
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 for our brains to accept a new
language
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.
Second,
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it's better for the brain to be used to a second
language
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 earlier. It's expected that learning a new
language
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 is a demanding and arduous progress; listening, speaking, writing, and reading are of the utmost importance.
Thus
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, if children can come into contact with a new
language
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 earlier,
such
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 as
watching
Change preposition
by watching
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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foreign films or foreign news, which are helpful
to master
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in mastering
show examples
this
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language
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.
On the other hand
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, it can harm the sense of cultural belonging.
For instance
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, it's difficult for a child to tell his culture when he grew up in a bilingual or trilingual family. Because he gets in touch with new languages too early, there are no mother
tone
Correct your spelling
tongue
show examples
 concepts in his mind;
therefore
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, he can't distinguish his home culture. In conclusion, I believe it would be better if kids could start learning a new
language
Use synonyms
 earlier.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be more clear and engaging to better frame the essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear points and reasons.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The arguments are logically organized and supported with relevant points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingualism
  • cognitive development
  • neuroplasticity
  • linguistic acquisition
  • multicultural competence
  • secondary language proficiency
  • core curriculum
  • language immersion
  • academic achievement
  • maturation
  • pedagogy
  • globalization
  • language pedagogy
  • retention rates
  • cultural enrichment
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