By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The public opinion on the
death
penalty may never reach a consensus, as many believe that only the
death
of the murderers is the acceptable retribution,
whereas
others maintain that
this
form of punishment is in fact a judicial murder and
such
sanction should be replaced by a
life
sentence. Personally speaking, I share the viewpoint that
death
penalties need to be abolished but for different reasons.
To begin
with,
death
punishment should be nullified because it is not as effective as commonly assumed, and its implementation is often influenced by a multiplicity of factors, resulting in injustice. First of all, clear evidence has suggested that the violent crime rate is not correlated with the enforcement of the harshest retribution, which invalidates the claim that the
death
penalty can prevent crime.
Moreover
, most of those who have been executed in the US are strikingly black or brown;
although
the proportion of non-white criminals may be higher than the white faction, whether racial discrimination has contributed to
this
stark phenomenon remains mythical.
Lastly
, because the criminal justice system is not immaculate, there are still cases of innocent individuals being sentenced to
death
, inflicting great pain and suffering on their families and friends. That said, to reduce harm,
this
extreme punishment shall be superseded by better approaches.
Life
imprisonment might be the current best alternative here for three reasons: it is more moral, it safeguards the public, and it can significantly minimise the potential damage. A
life
sentence is more ethical to the public, as judges and jury members do not bear the moral burden of taking someone’s
life
. Putting violent criminals behind bars can
also
protect people from getting hurt and deter similar crimes.
Finally
, since juries are known for making terrible mistakes,
instead
of arbitrarily sending people to
death
row, a more lenient
life
sentence may not only offer a second chance for those who are remorseful but
also
save innocent lives.
Thus
, for the benefit of individuals and society, and with the intention to extirpate injustice, criminals should be allowed to spend the rest of their lifetime in jail. In summary,
while
the mainstream public continues to support the
death
penalty, its benefits have been exaggerated and its negative impacts overlooked.
Consequently
, adopting
life
imprisonment as a replacement could improve the situation.
Submitted by yanjinru0827 on

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task response
Your essay would benefit from incorporating more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Including real-life cases or statistics could help in making your points more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Try using more transitional phrases or connectors to establish smoother transitions.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly presents the main argument and sets the stage for the rest of the essay, which is excellent for guiding the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a well-structured approach: an introduction, body paragraphs that provide arguments both against and for the death penalty, and a conclusive summary.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have presented clear and comprehensive ideas, covering various aspects of the death penalty issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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