IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening ? And give possible solutions

#health #experts #exercise #people
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These days more
people
Use synonyms
 are walking less. But scientists
rely
Add the preposition
onrely
uponrely
show examples
 that walking is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable
Replace the word
value
show examples
 for our health.
This
Linking Words
 walking process is often discussed but rarely understood. From my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 is due to stress at work or school
day
Use synonyms
. A
person
Use synonyms
 gets tired physically and mentally after a severe
day
Use synonyms
. In brief,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
every
day
Use synonyms
 repeats the same and nothing changes. The
second
Linking Words
 problem is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
games
Change the noun form
game
show examples
, television or other technologies.
People
Use synonyms
 lose their time for
such
Linking Words
 things.
Consequently
Linking Words
, their stay at home and do not breathe fresh air. The solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
second
Linking Words
 problem is a
compile
Change the verb form
compiled
show examples
 plan for a
day
Use synonyms
.
Every
Replace the word
Everyday
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 morning you must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
write
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a paper or
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
notes on the phone
your
Change preposition
about your
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 planning and try to comply. And on
this
Linking Words
planning
Replace the word
plan
show examples
 should be walking and
breath
Replace the word
breathing
show examples
 fresh air. Another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem is sloth. All
people
Use synonyms
 must
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
win mine sloth. Above all
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
start everything
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a single step. Even though it is difficult. You should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
start it as I said earlier from the plan. You
first
Linking Words
 set goals and do everything to
achieve
Correct pronoun usage
themachieve
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, you can overcome laziness. Owing to that, you understand the value of walking. To conclude, walking is a useful activity for our mental and physical health. At a time like
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 it is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 role to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
this
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
. Indeed, the
person
Use synonyms
 will be more joyful, and the energy of
this
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
 will be pleasant. There are no disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 walking, and I want to give advice
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
people
Use synonyms
 to go outside and just walk for at least 15 minutes.
Submitted by Mezun 2023 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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