Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In
this
contemporary epoch, the use of the internet has reached its peak. Therefore
, some individuals believe that the web has played a role in bringing people from different states closer to one another. However
, certain individuals deem that they have become confined and restricted. This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument and suggest my opinion. I believe that the cloud has many positive consequences.
On the one hand, there have been many innovations taking place in the world , the major of which is the internet. It has lent a helping hand to nations, by bringing their relatives and friends close and near them because of the social networking platforms and various other advancements such
as chatting without any limitation. For instance
, the crowds are able to talk to their family members who are living overseas. In addition
, they can even see them without any distortion or time limit. This
means that our lives have become very convenient and easy with the blogosphere.
On the other hand
, some folks believe that using cyberspace has isolated and restricted the
communities. By Correct article usage
apply
this
I mean, teenagers or even adults spend most of their time surfing the net and disregarding the people sitting nearby. To have a clear example, the undergraduates are wasting their time on social websites by confining themselves to rooms and ignoring their parents and other members of the family. Hence
, it revealed virtual
and practical constriction of the public.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the virtual
although
the information superhighway could be the rationale for the confinement of persons it has vast motives by bringing people from other parts of the world together. I personally have an opinion that it embarks on the comradeship and connectedness of individuals.Submitted by Sitara Sherin on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure has a recognizable logical sequence, but there could be clearer connections between your ideas. Transition phrases and topic sentences that clearly indicate a shift in argument would enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened. A more definitive stance in the introduction and a summation that encapsulates your arguments would help in solidifying your position.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported but could be more developed. To improve, consider expanding on your examples and providing more detailed explanations to substantiate your claims.
task achievement
The response to the task does address the prompt, but some parts of the essay are not fully developed. Make sure to consistently address both views and your own opinion throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are present, but at times they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Clarity can be improved through careful editing and revising sentences that may seem confusing or incomplete.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant, but to achieve a higher score, ensure they are specific and detailed. This strengthens the argument and shows a full understanding of the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.