IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

#argument #case #reader #topic #childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunise #children #individuals #right
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
viruses
Use synonyms
 and
diseases
Use synonyms
 are fast spread around the globe, every day we hear a new type of virus has become from an old one. The question that always arises is, Is it important to boost the
immunity
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 by giving them
vaccines
Use synonyms
 or letting their natural
immunity
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 build a defensive wall against
viruses
Use synonyms
? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the advantages of enforcing
vaccines
Use synonyms
 on
children
Use synonyms
 ,especially for common
diseases
Use synonyms
. Since the beginning of humanity,
Viruses
Use synonyms
 are living within, and the body's
immunity
Use synonyms
 builds a new
system
Use synonyms
 to defend against them,
however
Linking Words
, the new lifestyle where
children
Use synonyms
 live with minimal physical activity,
for instance
Linking Words
, sports activity and outdoor games, leads to weak their
immunity
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 from protection against
viruses
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the style of unhealthy food that youth is taking which does not have good nutrition that helps their
immunity
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 is a reason to let their bodies weak against
viruses
Use synonyms
. Looking to common
diseases
Use synonyms
, where
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of death were high,
for example
Linking Words
, Covid-19. Health society developed different types of
vaccines
Use synonyms
 that prevent
this
Linking Words
 disease from spreading around. I believe that government should set a plan to emphasise that parents accept the idea of letting their
children
Use synonyms
 take
vaccines
Use synonyms
 and put a program to educate society about the drawback of not taking
vaccines
Use synonyms
 for common
diseases
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ramimus12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: