IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on food and beverages with high level of sugar some think that these taxes are a good idea while other disagree. Discuss both you and give your opinion?

#government #countries #taxes #food #beverages #level #sugar #think #idea
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There is doubt that obesity and diabetes have become
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 common
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 in the world. Recently ،
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governments
government
goverments
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governments
 began to impose laws to reduce
this
 phenomenon. Many
people
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believe
show examples
belive
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believe
show examples
 that an excellent step by the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
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government
,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 argue that
this
 might not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be very helpful.
This
 essay will explain both views and lend my support to the former one. A large number of
people
 believe that increasing only
fill
Correct subject-verb agreement
fills
show examples
 the
Correct your spelling
government's
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
 coffers with money.
Additionally
, paying an extra tax would increase
burden
Add an article
the burden
show examples
 and might deprive them of
sugrary
Correct your spelling
sugary
surgery
 products.
Furthermore
,
this
 would adversely impact the manufacture's that might have to bear heavy
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losses
show examples
looses
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losses
show examples
 due to lack of demand.
On the other hand
,
this
 step by
government
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the government
show examples
 would
disencourage
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discourage
people
 from buying fast food and drinks that
contains
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contain
show examples
 a large amount of sugar.
This
 is not only
beneficial
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benefit
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the
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to the
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 adult but
also
the
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to the
show examples
 children, who are
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tempted
attempted
atempted
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attempted
 by junk food and chocolate. These are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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major causes of obesity and
diabetic
Replace the word
diabetes
show examples
 and tooth caries in teenagers. According to
latest
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the latest
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 reports, increases
prices
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in prices
show examples
 on
pepsi
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Pepsi
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 and
kitkat
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KitKat
Correct your spelling
decreases
decrases
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decreased
 sales
30
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by 30
show examples
 per cent compared to the
last
 year.
Therefore
,
this
 could be helpful in controlling
increasing
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the increasing
show examples
 numbers of
diabetic
Add an article
a diabetic
the diabetic
show examples
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
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,
this
 measure will
enhancing
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enhance
be enhancing
show examples
 better for general health and promote both
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government
goverment
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government
 and
people
 to reduce
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their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 spending on medical In conclusion, though it might be a rigid step taken by regulating bodies, I believe, it can be helpful for everyone to make them more
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healthy
show examples
heathy
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healthy
show examples
 and fitter.
Submitted by tahsinadam on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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