Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #events

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The

media

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is being used worldwide on different occasions,

such

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as keeping contact with others or updating

news

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. The writer contends that the merits of convenience and accessibility of information outweigh the

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

of lack of fact verification. It must be acknowledged that social platform benefits

people

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in several ways.

In other words

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, the global internet would connect them with a varied source of latest

news

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from huge continents to small countries.

Accordingly

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, the

media

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would allow

people

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to keep track of the world’s progress,

as well as

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maintain to be up-to-date in the modern era. It was difficult for residents in remote areas to have an opportunity to access the

news

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during the previous century, but with the assistance of technology and social

media

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, events are far easier to update. Another key component of

this

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case is because of its convenience. Unlike what our ancestors have been through hundreds of years before, letters and magazines soon became unnecessary in these recent days.

This

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is the consequence of time-consuming delivery and printing so it would probably take them days or even weeks to have those documents reach the person they were trying to contact. In the same way, using the internet to receive the right information only occupies some milliseconds.

Therefore

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that is

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the reason why most

people

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choose to rely on social

media

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rather than traditional methods.

Although

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the

media

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has several positives, it still has some negative impacts on

people

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's lives. As a matter of fact, many

people

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decide to tie up with social

media

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so much that they have neglected the possible problem that: no verification is made before the

news

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is distributed publically.

However

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, if

people

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are bright enough to differentiate between authentic and fake

news

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this

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would no longer be a problematic issue. Taking all into account, the demerit of factual affirmation is outweighed by the benefits of time-consuming and up-to-date

news

Use synonyms

Mon Mar 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure to re-read your essay to correct any grammatical errors or awkward phrasing to improve clarity and overall cohesion. Polishing your language use will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

task achievement

You could bolster your argument by incorporating more varied and specific examples to substantiate your points, particularly when discussing the disadvantages of social media. Consider adding statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes where possible.

task achievement

While you've done well in covering the overall task, try to provide a more balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages. You could expand on the negative aspects and propose potential solutions or ways to mitigate these issues, which would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global community
maintain relationships
immediate updates
self-expression
networking opportunities
overuse
misinformation
privacy concerns
personal data
culture of comparison
decreased self-esteem
dissatisfaction

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Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays because of digital technology, it is possible for not only studios but also individuals to produce their own films. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

ome people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

All cars that burn fossil fuel should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, service, news) Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason, private cars should be completely banned from city centres. To what extent do you agree or disagree?