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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that the media has the strongest impact on people’s lives. Others feel that it is politicians who have the most control over the way people lives. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #media #impact #people’s #lives #politicians #control
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someone
Correct pronoun usage
Some
show examples
 argues that the biggest one which has some effects on
people
Use synonyms
 is the
media
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, while other
people
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 think
that is
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 influential
politicians
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. Both views will be discussed, and I believe that the former view would be more convincing. On the one hand, the
media
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 would have the
power
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 which can handle
people
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.
First
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, these days, we tend not to be able to live without the mass
media
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. Not only the amount of
media
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 but
also
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 the number of
people
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 exposed to it is significantly increasing.
Therefore
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, it results in an increase in the
media
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's influence.
For example
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, we would face many kinds of advertisements. You might have some experience; you sing along to the song of the advertisement that you were exposed to repeatably.
Secondly
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, most
people
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 would have a belief which is without a little doubt.
For instance
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, there would be so much information, which is not proven, but the public believes it with little doubt.
Such
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 situations can prove the
power
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 of mass
media
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.
On the other hand
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, the more
power
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 the
politicians
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 have, the more impact their talk can have.
Firstly
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, all the
people
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 must follow the politics which
politicians
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 make because it can be compulsory.
Therefore
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, as
people
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 can be controlled by it, it would have an impact which cannot ignore. In the
second
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 place,
such
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 politics give
people
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 a belief that it was proved through a series of complex processes. it results in
people
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 believing it and it causes the
power
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 of
politicians
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, as well. In conclusion, the
media
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 would have a very strong influence which can handle
people
Use synonyms
although
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 the impact of
politicians
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 is
also
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 strong.
Thus
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, I suppose that the
media
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 would be the biggest effect on
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
Submitted by eomjimin0711 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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