IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some counties, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other counties. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problems?

#counties #people #products #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been a controversy about the advantages and disadvantages of imported
products
. I think their merits outweigh their demerits, and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
First
, they can gratify the demands of the domestic
market
. It's expected that not all
countries
 are self-reliant; due to some determinants of their territory,
such
 as climate and latitude, they can't produce some particular
products
. At
this
 point, importing goods from other
countries
 can solve
this
 problem to a large extent. Take Germany as an example. On account of its domestic climate, it's difficult to grow some fruit, like oranges and bananas.
Therefore
, to tackle
this
 issue, Germany imports a sizeable portion of fruit from other
countries
,
such
 as Spain and Italy.
Second
, lessening the domestic resource pressure. As mentioned in the
last
 paragraph, not all
countries
 have rich resources and are self-reliant. Take Japan as an example. It has been reported that Japan has to import 94.5% of natural gas from other
countries
 annually.
Hence
, in order to fix
this
 issue, they choose to import resources from other
countries
.
For instance
, oil is extremely popular in the international
market
. Oil-rich
countries
 rely on it to stimulate their economy, and those oil-poor
countries
 rely on that imported oil to alleviate the domestic oil crisis.
On the other hand
, importing goods has some problems.
For instance
, they infringe upon the domestic
products'
Change noun form
products
show examples
market
. Take China as an example. There are numerous imported cars in China,
such
 as BMW and Volkswagen, and they are becoming even more popular now. As a consequence, their proportion in the car
market
 has increased dramatically, and the ratio of those domestic cars has shrunk considerably. In conclusion, I believe the benefits of importing
products
 outstrip its problems.
Submitted by junyiwu029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: