Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults

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In our modern society, taking care of our

children

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is one of the major challenges for adults, with people having different views about

children

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making

mistakes

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While

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there are some good arguments in favour of giving freedom for

children

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to make

mistakes

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, I believe that it is better for parents to prevent youngsters from making

mistakes

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. On the one hand, there are parents who, in nurturing their youngsters, give them the freedom to make

mistakes

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However

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, there are certain negative impacts if they give too much space for their

children

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in daily activities. the

children

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may be prone to commit acts of violence

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apply

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because they do not know the difference between right and wrong. In my personal experience, my friend who grew up in a family that gives too much freedom committed some crimes when they were growing up as adolescents,

such

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as consuming drugs and gambling.

On the other hand

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, I believe that preventing

children

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from making

mistakes

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is their parents’ task.

This

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parenting style makes the

children

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aware of the rules in their activities.

Furthermore

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, it is considered to be safer for adults, youngsters, and their friends.

For example

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, my neighbour who has two

children

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who are controlled from making

mistakes

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is always proud of them because of their good attitude and achievements at school. In conclusion, I believe that parents have a responsibility to take care of and prevent their

children

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from making

mistakes

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because it has a beneficial impact on their personal development and their future.

Submitted by serlyayus on Mon Aug 15 2022

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task response

Develop a more balanced view by discussing the potential benefits of allowing children to make mistakes while acknowledging the need for guidance. Introduce and conclude the essay more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas and use transition words to enhance coherence between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph relates to the main topic and thesis.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

freedom to make mistakes
critical thinking skills
lifelong learning
guided learning environment
resilience
independence
overprotective
dependency
problem-solving skills
confidence
negative consequences
learning process
personal growth
trial and error
balance safety and learning
development
support and guidance
empowerment
risk-taking
life lessons

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