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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Discuss both views)

#people #countries #travel #say #information #tv #internet
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Some
people
 believe that
people
 should visit other
countries
 to learn about them,
while
 others think that travelling is not necessary because we have informative
TV
 shows and the
Internet
 to learn about other
countries
. I personally believe that
while
TV
 shows and the
Internet
 allow
someone
 to learn about other
countries
 sitting at home, travelling is more effective because it allows
someone
 to witness a
country
 with their own
eyes
 and interact with
people
 in foreign
countries
. Television documentaries, shows, and the
Internet
 are informative which allow
someone
 to learn about other
countries
 sitting at home. Through these documentaries, shows, and the
Internet
, the audience can learn about different
countries
, cultures, heritages, and
people
while
 staying at home.
For example
, a famous Bangladeshi
TV
 channel named "Explore" portrays different
countries
 and the lifestyles of
people
, which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
audience
Add an article
the audience
show examples
 to know about different cultures and
countries
 without visiting them.
However
, I personally believe that visiting other
countries
 is more useful in terms of learning about other
countries
 because witnessing a
country
 with
someone
's own
eyes
 is more valuable. Travelling is more important because it helps to interact with the citizens of different
countries
 and witness the
country
 with
someone
's own
eyes
. When visitors visit other
countries
, they witness and experience the cultures, languages, and
people
 with their own
eyes
.
Moreover
, they can interact with
people
, which allows them to have a clear perception of the
country
 and
people
Correct pronoun usage
its people
show examples
.
For example
, many tourists who travel around the world have said that travelling to different
countries
 is more valuable because they can develop their own knowledge and experiences of that
country
 and share that with others.
Therefore
, I
persoanlly
Correct your spelling
personally
 believe that travelling to other
countries
 is more useful because its impact is long-lasting. In conclusion,
although
 watching
TV
 documentaries and collecting information from the
Internet
 about different
countries
 is convenient because they allow
someone
 to learn about other
countries
 without visiting them, I personally believe that visiting other
countries
 is more beneficial in terms of learning about other
countries
 because it helps to grow
someone
's own perception of the
country
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs maintain a consistent level of detail and depth in explanation.
task achievement
Try to balance the discussion of both views more evenly to fully meet task requirements.
task achievement
Provides strong, relevant examples to support points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, guiding the reader through the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Interactions
  • Tourism
  • Local economies
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Carbon emissions
  • Accessibility
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Authenticity
  • Reliability
  • Virtual reality
  • Immersive experiences
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