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Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #adults
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Several people discuss that
a
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sentiment of contrast between kids should be abetted. While
,
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 others think teenagers who are instructed to participate
instead
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 of rivalry are going to be more helpful in adulthood. In my opinion, both groups have interesting ideas and there are some benefits and drawbacks which I want to argue about. On the one hand, the context of competition has
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the advantage
an advantage
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advantage
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advantages
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,
such
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 as when children play together to
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achieve
achive
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achieve
 a prize, they have to deal with issues and
that
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is improve
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improves
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 their strength,
thus
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, in the
future
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,future
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 they are going to solve problems in their lives,
for example
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, they can be independent in their
mid age
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, and they do not panicking when they want to find a job, which is needed to be more flexible and calm when going to a job interview.
In addition
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,
this
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 sense
is not brings
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is not brought
is not bringing
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 cooperation skills,
therefore
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, these kids will not able to join cooperating jobs, which is
neede
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needed
need
 to help
eachother
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each other
 as a team.
On the other hand
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, pupils who learned to participate in
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teamwork
teamworks
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teamwork
,
they
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apply
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can easily find friends and colleagues in the future when they are working in big
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companies
componies
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companies
 and firms, where their
supervisor’s
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supervisors
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 ask them to work as a group, these individuals can conveniently deal with their assignments.
Nevertheless
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, there is a negative point, which is they can not independent because they had not experienced finding solutions alone.
For instance
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, when I was younger, I used to play with my teammates and
this
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 experience helped me a lot,
although
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, I can not play solo sports very well as a
concequence
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consequence
 of collaboration. To conclude, it depends on
ourselves
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us
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 to choose which of these two procedures.
Furthermore
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, there are advantages and disadvantages
for
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to
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 both ideas which I discussed.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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