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Band 7.5

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. 　Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#effect #individuals #society #people #government #tax #foods #‘fat #tax’
These days, it is recognized that unhealthy eating habits have negative effects on
individuals
 and the society in which they live. Some argue that the government should implement a 'fat
tax
' on unhealthy
foods
,
while
 others believe
such
 a
tax
 would be unfair and unnecessary. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my opinion on the issue of a
tax
 on unhealthy
foods
.
Firstly
, many people argue that imposing a 'fat
tax
' on companies producing unhealthy
foods
 is unfair.
Foods
such
 as chips, candies, and meats are often more affordable than healthier alternatives, and some
individuals
 rely on these lower-cost options. If a
tax
 is implemented, it may lead to decreased purchases of
such
foods
, potentially harming the revenue of these companies.
This
, in turn, could result in job losses and an
overall
 increase in food prices, making it harder for people to afford any type of food.
On the other hand
, I believe that eating unhealthy
foods
 has detrimental effects on both
individuals
 and society
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
therefore
 the government should impose a
tax
 on them. By discouraging the consumption of unhealthy
foods
due to
 increased costs,
individuals
 can avoid health issues
such
 as diabetes, which often lead to other illnesses.
This
 not only benefits individual health but
also
 helps reduce the burden on the healthcare system, freeing up resources for other areas of need. In conclusion,
while
 imposing a
tax
 on unhealthy
foods
 may seem unfair to some, I believe it is necessary for the long-term health and well-being of both
individuals
 and society.
Such
 a
tax
 can encourage healthier eating habits and contribute to a healthier future for everyone.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on

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Relevant Specific Examples
Ensure that your examples are as specific and relevant as possible to strengthen your argument further.
Balanced Argument
Consider balancing the discussion more evenly by exploring how the 'fat tax' could be implemented fairly, such as by reinvesting the revenue into public health initiatives.
Logical Structure
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, discussion of both views, and a conclusion summarizing the writer's position.
Coherence
Good job on maintaining a cohesive flow throughout your essay. The use of connecting words and phrases helps in smoothly transitioning between ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear opinion after discussing both viewpoints.
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