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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days, it is recognized that unhealthy eating habits have negative effects on
individuals
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 and the society in which they live. Some argue that the government should implement a 'fat
tax
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' on unhealthy
foods
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,
while
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 others believe
such
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 a
tax
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 would be unfair and unnecessary. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my opinion on the issue of a
tax
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 on unhealthy
foods
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.
Firstly
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, many people argue that imposing a 'fat
tax
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' on companies producing unhealthy
foods
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 is unfair.
Foods
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such
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 as chips, candies, and meats are often more affordable than healthier alternatives, and some
individuals
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 rely on these lower-cost options. If a
tax
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 is implemented, it may lead to decreased purchases of
such
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foods
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, potentially harming the revenue of these companies.
This
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, in turn, could result in job losses and an
overall
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 increase in food prices, making it harder for people to afford any type of food.
On the other hand
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, I believe that eating unhealthy
foods
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 has detrimental effects on both
individuals
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 and society
,
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apply
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 and
therefore
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 the government should impose a
tax
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 on them. By discouraging the consumption of unhealthy
foods
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due to
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 increased costs,
individuals
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 can avoid health issues
such
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 as diabetes, which often lead to other illnesses.
This
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 not only benefits individual health but
also
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 helps reduce the burden on the healthcare system, freeing up resources for other areas of need. In conclusion,
while
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 imposing a
tax
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 on unhealthy
foods
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 may seem unfair to some, I believe it is necessary for the long-term health and well-being of both
individuals
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 and society.
Such
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 a
tax
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 can encourage healthier eating habits and contribute to a healthier future for everyone.

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Relevant Specific Examples
Ensure that your examples are as specific and relevant as possible to strengthen your argument further.
Balanced Argument
Consider balancing the discussion more evenly by exploring how the 'fat tax' could be implemented fairly, such as by reinvesting the revenue into public health initiatives.
Logical Structure
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, discussion of both views, and a conclusion summarizing the writer's position.
Coherence
Good job on maintaining a cohesive flow throughout your essay. The use of connecting words and phrases helps in smoothly transitioning between ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear opinion after discussing both viewpoints.
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