Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening . Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Technology has changed the world a lot in recent times, with
evolution
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the evolution

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of Sciences
the
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apply

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life has become easier and better. But on the other side, the
Correct your spelling
privacy

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privecy
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privacy

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is getting less. I radically disagree with
this
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development. In
this
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essay, I'll explain my viewpoint and lend my opinion. Undoubtedly, processing
the
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apply

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Technology and Science
that
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apply

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make
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makes

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our life
more
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apply

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better and safe, especially after the invention
the
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of the

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smartphone and laptops.
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Nowadays
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Nowaday
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Nowadays

The word Nowaday doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, anyone can
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record
recorde
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record

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any accident or important event through his mobile phone. The latest reports said that
,
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apply

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the frauds and scams
has
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have

It appears that the singular verb has does not agree with the plural compound subject the frauds and scams. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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decreased thanks to smartphones, and police station have become
more
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apply

The double comparative more easier may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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easier work, and
this
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decrease increasing day after day .
On the other hand
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,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advancement led to
make
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making

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb make. Consider changing it.

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our personality
more
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apply

The double comparative more less may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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less, today most
of
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apply

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people
Add an article
the people

The phrase most of people may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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are worrying about
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue and they started complaining about
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

violation.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
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apply

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personal
privec
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privacy

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is legal human
rights
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right

It seems that rights may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, so, a low restrict a lot of companies and websites freedom that invade privacy policy. Recently,
the
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apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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public life
have
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has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject the public life. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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become more
monitor
Wrong verb form
monitored

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb monitor. Consider changing it.

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and
control
Wrong verb form
controlled

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb control. Consider changing it.

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than before, anywhere you
are go
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are going

It appears that the form of the verb go does not work with are in this sentence.

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or where you are, you must be watched through security cameras.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
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two
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tow
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two

The word tow doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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years ago a lot of newspapers
and
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apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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talked about violating privacy by
surveillace
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surveillance

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companies. In conclusion, everyone today
violated
Add a missing verb
is violated

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in
way
Correct pronoun usage
one way

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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or
others
Correct quantifier usage
another

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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, either through his
IPhone
Fix capitalization
iPhone

IPhone does not appear to be a proper noun. Consider lowercasing it.

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or
laptob
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laptop

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or surveillance cameras, so we need to be more careful about our privacy.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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