Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #qualities #person #world #university #institution

Some people argue that the essential factors making a person successful cannot be gained at a

university

. What enables an individual to excel requires various qualities. I, personally, cannot fully agree with

this

statement.

To begin

with, people can learn knowledge and equip themselves with specific

skills

from

university

For example

, Mark

Zuckberg

Correct your spelling

Zuckerberg

successfully founded

Faecbook

Correct your spelling

Facebook

because he was well trained in computer science at Harvard

University

. Only by studying diligently at medical school can one medical

students

Change to a singular noun

student

show examples

become

a world-class physicians

Correct the article-noun agreement

a world-class physician

world-class physicians

show examples

later. Some doctors

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

several years at an academic institution, focusing on scientific research to pursue a physician-scientist pathway. They learn from other scientists and cooperate with peer researchers. It is what they have learned

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to their successful career.

However

, I concede that only

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the knowledge taught at a

university

cannot guarantee students

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

succeed in the workplace.

For instance

university

graduates might not be able to run a successful business without essential networking.

Moreover

, executive and organizational

skills

are crucial in

promotion

Add an article

the promotion

show examples

to higher positions, while training in these

skills

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not always included in higher education curriculums. People improve organizational abilities through daily work and sometimes learn from mistakes. Experience

also

plays an important role in leading to a successful career.

For example

, a fresh graduate from even a top

university

cannot be an outstanding banker without any working experience. In conclusion, the contributing factors to

become

Change the verb form

becoming

show examples

successful are not limited to what individuals can learn at a

university

, but

also

various

skills

and

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

which are accumulated in practical work.

Submitted by 1123747551 on Tue Aug 16 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that vertical city is best where people can live, while others say that horizontal cities are better. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.