IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

School leavers go travelling or work before they go directly to university. Are there more advantages or disadvantage on their study?

#school #leavers #work #university #study
Having a gap year is more and more popular among school leavers before they go directly to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university, which I believe
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the advantages outweigh its disadvantages. There are some drawbacks of go travelling or working before going to college.
Firstly
, the youth would find it difficult to cope with some professional issues, since they do not gain enough knowledge from university, which means that without professional training at school,
students
 can not tackle complicated missions at
work
, even they would lower their
work
 efficiency.
Also
, travelling costs would increase their parents’ financial burden, since
students
 do not have the ability to get a salary and a stable source of income,
therefore
 their parents need to pay for all sorts of payments.
However
, more advantages can be seen when
students
 choose to go travelling or
work
 during the gap year before their university life.
First
 of all,
students
 can experience a variety of local cultures
first
-hand during travelling at home and abroad, from which they can learn local traditions and customs and respect cultural diversity.
This
 would eliminate preconceptions, making them more tolerant and open-minded.
Also
,
students
 who choose to
work
 in a company would more mature since they learn to cooperate with colleagues and face various people from different social backgrounds.
This
 would improve their communication skills and expand their social backgrounds, which would glamorize their resumes and help them have a competitive edge in the job market.
Furthermore
,
students
 can unwind themselves from an excess of exams and tests, being given quality time to think about what they want to do in the future and make a plan.
For instance
,
students
 can take all factors
such
 as interests, money and location into consideration when they decide on their major and their future jobs. All in all, the advantages of taking a gap year to travel and
work
 outweigh its disadvantages since they can experience local culture
first
-hand, become more mature and unwind from stress.
Submitted by testuya1116 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: