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Writing Samples
Band 7

What are advantages and disadvantages of changing careers?

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In
this
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 decade, numerous individuals have changed their professions
which
Correct word choice
and
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 the old career could not completely afford people's lives with sufficient earnings and a balanced lifestyle.
This
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 essay will describe both the benefits and drawbacks of career transition with some relevant examples. On the one hand, there are two main advantages to new professions.
Firstly
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, earning a higher salary may be an obvious reason for some working on their own path with lower gaining of individuals' standard level.
For example
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, working in the banking field as an officer obtaining approximately slightly
lessthan
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less than
 $1,000 a month in Thailand might gain a return lower than the sales professional in the same position. Another crucial reason for
this
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 transition is for a balanced lifestyle. Lives with sufficient relaxing time and balanced work are significantly pleasing for any individuals,especially with some living with their own families.
For instance
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, some working as an engineer in local sites far away from home might change their occupations because staying near family matters. They might
also
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 spend time with their kids after work as a precious activity.
Conversely
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, changing occupations to another with more benefits may not always be simple. One of those drawbacks is a lack of relevant experience which takes more time to get
along with
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 the new journey.
For instance
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, some having been working as an accountant for 5 years are thinking of moving into the sales and marketing department because of gaining more incentives from increasing profitable volume. It is obvious that they need sales and marketing experience which have not had before to be a great profession in the new way.
To conclude
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, sticking with the current occupations or changing to new careers is a personal alternative to better lives. Some are happy with the same
while
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 some are unpleased with the current situation.
However
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, decision-making depending on their own purposes is a matter.

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Lexical Resource
Avoid repetition of phrases like 'new professions' and 'career transitions' to enhance lexical variety.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words for smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, clarify your argument by directly comparing the advantages and disadvantages within the same paragraph.
Task Achievement
Consider including a wider array of examples from different fields to demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic.
Content
Your essay provides a balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of career changes.
Structure
You have effectively introduced and concluded your discussion, making your essay coherent.
Examples
The examples used are relevant and support your main points well.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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