In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #clothes #suits #jeans #case #development

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Today there is a controversial problem that whether

people

Use synonyms

should wear modern

clothes

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or keep their traditional costumes. From my point of view, there are some positive and negative impacts on

this

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problem. On the one hand, following modern trends

such

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as wearing western

clothes

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brings a variety of different cultures to a current nation.

For example

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, in most Asian countries, there are a plethora of

people

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, especially teenagers, who wear jeans and suits for special events

such

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as meeting at the workplace or hanging out with friends.

This

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results in developing a new

culture

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as well as providing more options for clothing selection. Generally, being a multicultural country is extremely beneficial in developing the tourism industry and improving the economic field.

On the other hand

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, it is definitely crucial to maintain and develop a country’s unique

culture

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First

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and foremost,

culture

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has a meaningful impact on local residents, a country could not develop well without its own

culture

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For example

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, in Vietnam, Ao Dai is the traditional cloth and it symbolizes their unique civilization. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a lot of Vietnamese teenagers wear jeans and suits today but they still wear Ao Dai for special events

such

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as the Tet holiday.

In addition

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, the lack of diversity brings several negative impacts

such

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as loss of

culture

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. It obviously is important to follow modern trends and exchange

culture

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Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

young

people

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should maintain and develop their own

culture

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. In conclusion, wearing Western

clothes

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can be advantageous and detrimental.

However

Linking Words

people

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should pay more attention to

educate

Wrong verb form

educating

show examples

their children about the importance of maintaining and developing their

culture

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by wearing traditional

clothes

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for special occasions.

Submitted by caotuongvy117 on Tue Aug 16 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy foods more. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?