When choosing a job, salary is the most important decision. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Before joining any organization, remuneration is one of the essential factors to be considered. From my perspective, I completely support
this
passage by mentioning the below points.
To begin
, in the present situation, most companies are not ready to pay more salaries for their
employees
, because there is a job scarcity,
hence
organizations endeavour to hire
employees
, who are agreed to work at low cost.
This
is not fair, because most people even if they have more experience, employers try to bargain about their
salary
, before hiring them.
Thus
, graduates must check their remuneration whether
this
job should be effective for that paycheck.
Additionally
,
salary
increments and promotions should be very important for each graduate.
Moreover
,
due to
the economic crisis, commodities costs are soaring day by day.
Thus
, professional graduates should think about their income before joining a job. To illustrate, China has more population and most industries there take
employees
under low pay and force the
employees
to work more than 15 to 16 hours per day.
Hence
, people in China have encountered a lot of issues.
Furthermore
, for all well-educated candidates,
salary
is the most essential surveying factor without
this
their education will be useless.
In addition
, some fresh graduates are not able to demand a paycheck, because they completed their degree newly and have no experience,
this
time they may not offer to
fix
Verb problem
pay
show examples
the
salary
from employers.
Besides
, all successful candidates must not stay in one organization, they will move towards better opportunities and higher salaries.
To conclude
,
salary
is the most important factor for any individual’s career.
In other words
, without
salary
increments any talented candidates will not grow up and they need to face financial burdens in future.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to elaborate on your points with clear examples and deeper analysis to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on the grammatical structure to avoid minor mistakes and enhance clarity. Minor errors should not obscure meaning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
Your key points are relevant to the topic and demonstrate a good understanding of the subject.
task achievement
You included some specific examples to support your points, which is good for strengthening your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • monetary compensation
  • professional development
  • social impact
  • work environment
  • company culture
  • financial necessity
  • career growth
  • intrinsic rewards
  • benefits package
  • job stability
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!