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Writing Samples
Band 3

In spite of the advances in medicine, many people around the world still die of easily preventable diseases. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #medicine #people #world #diseases #case
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In recent years, medicine has progressed enormously but
still
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,still
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 the highest death rate is related to preventable
disease
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diseases
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.
This
 essay will examine the main
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cause
casue
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cause
 of
this
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these
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 problems and possible
solution
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solutions
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.
To begin
,
researches
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research
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shows
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show
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 most of
these preventable disease
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this preventable disease
these preventable diseases
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 are multifactional.
Means
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This means
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;
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 onset and progression of these
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diseases
disease
diseaes
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diseases
depends
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depend
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 on several factors
such
 as genetics and
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lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
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. In recent decades fast foods
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and
ans
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and
sedentary
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a sedentary
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lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
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.
For example
 nowadays in USA cardiovascular
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diseases
disease
diseaes
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disease
 is one of the most important reasons
of
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for
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people
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people's
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death
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died
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 that
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associated
asossiated
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associated
 with genetics, stress and kind of
nutintion
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nutrition
 and activity rate of
people
.
Although
 obviously the role of genetics cannot be changed. Health sectors can promote
people
's knowledge and culture about having healthy nutrition and doing daily and regular exercises.
Moreover
, stress
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management
managment
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management
 techniques could be taught to
people
. To conclude, to prevent most preventable and
chranic
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chronic
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disease
diseases
dieseaes
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diseases
 prevention
mdeicine
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medicine
 plays an essential role.
Thus
 by promoting awarenesses among
people
 about
proper
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the proper
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 lifestyle we can see a
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significant
significnt
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significant
 decrease in the death of these diseases.
Submitted by fa.banihashem on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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