IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Advances in technology have meant that machines are increasingly used to jobs that were previously done by humans the benefits outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays we live in the digital age, where
technology
Use synonyms
 has become crucial for our day-to-day lives.
Technology
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 is helping as well developing a lot of
prosthesis
Change to a plural noun
prostheses
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 that can totally change the quality of life of people who were subjected to amputations or neurological diseases.
Moreover
Linking Words
, surgery has
becoming
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become
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 less invasive thanks to new instruments that
allows
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allow
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 surgeons to be more sophisticated during their work.
First
Linking Words
 of all, during my
practice
Add a comma
,practice
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 I’m discovering as well some
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
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 effects of machinery.
For example
Linking Words
, the increasing difficulties that children have in doing
coordinations’
Change noun form
coordinations
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 exercises. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 as they spend a lot of time playing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
digital games, they have less time to play normal and real games in which they normally discover new movements and improve their metabolic capacity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increasing number of pathologies related to the
use
Use synonyms
 of phones and personal computers.
For example
Linking Words
, spine diseases or
wrists’
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wrists
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 Tendinosis.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, recent studies related the
use
Use synonyms
 of
technology
Use synonyms
 with stress,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is identified as
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 cause of many pathologies. To sum up, even if the Usage of
technology
Use synonyms
 can be used to help the healthcare system To deliver a better service is creating a lot of new
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 because of the overuse of it. Afterwards, I believe that we have to take care of how we
use
Use synonyms
 tech And do not abuse its
use
Use synonyms
 because we
Then
Linking Words
 risk losing our health and the capability
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the movement
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our body properly.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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