IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that it is possible for a county to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #county #environment
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 advocate that it is impossible for nations to be clean
as well as
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 have a strong economy. Others,
however
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, reckon that it is not a big deal. At
this
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 point of juncture, both these views are analysed in the ensuing paragraphs
while
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 I believe that the latter group is right.
Firstly
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, there are a few reasons why some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that being both economically successful and environmentally clean is not possible. First and foremost, they think,
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although
Correct word choice
that although
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 have an adequate amount of tax money to feed the population in different ways, allotting money for waste management and robust measures to mitigate the detrimental effects of pollution and deforestation is not an ideal way. To explain
further
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, whether utilising the budget on preventative measures to preserve the ecosystem might potentially affect other sectors is a prime concern of
such
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people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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 they doubt, that initiating actions to protect the ecosystem not only ruins opportunities in other sectors
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 various inevitable options like employment options that help citizens survive and thrive.
On the other hand
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, the main reason why some
people
Use synonyms
 including me believe that a country can be both developed and neat is primarily because of the information and proven strategies of various
countries
Use synonyms
. To make it more clear, considering the town planning and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 standards of nations like the UK and the US,
it is clear that
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 there are plausible ways to tackle any problems in terms of economy and environment. In
such
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countries
Use synonyms
, even though the resources are not up to the mark or short, they have strong
bonding
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
 with other top
countries
Use synonyms
 to adopt and replicate feasible methods to shield their country with the support of their authorities.
Moreover
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, they can concentrate on other fields to
cover
Verb problem
keep
show examples
 their economy from falling apart by introducing job roles in sectors like waste disposal and recycling plants as well.
To conclude
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,
while
Linking Words
 there are some important concerns from
people
Use synonyms
 who believe eradicating environmental problems and supporting the country all at once is an unrealistic goal,
it is clear that
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 the responsibility is solely on the government's side in suppressing the challenges
Submitted by rlnambiar98 on

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task response
Ensure that your points are supported with specific examples and evidence. Provide more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and explicit transitions to connect ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and follow a clear structure.
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