Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to brink back a change.

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Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and
animals
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around the world. Some
people
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believe that
this
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situation cannot be changed,
while
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others think that we can still do something about it. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, many
people
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think
this
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situation is very difficult to change. Pollution is one of the biggest problems nowadays because it affects rivers, oceans, and forests.
In addition
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, global warming is changing the weather and causing many
animals
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to lose their natural habitats. Because of
this
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, some species are becoming extinct. Another serious problem is poaching, which puts many wild
animals
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in danger. All these problems make some
people
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believe that it is too late to make a difference.
On the other hand
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, others believe that there is still time to improve
this
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situation. If
people
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become more environmentally friendly, many positive changes can happen.
For example
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, recycling, using less plastic, and protecting natural areas can help nature recover. Governments can
also
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create stronger laws to protect
animals
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and the environment.
Furthermore
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, schools can teach students the importance of taking care of the planet and being more responsible.
To conclude
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,
although
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environmental problems are serious, I believe that it is not too late to change things. If everyone works together and takes responsibility, we can create a better world for future generations.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your view, so this is good. To get a higher score, add one more clear example for each side.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but they are a bit general. Try to explain one point more deeply, for example how one law can help animals.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are good, like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. To get a higher band, use a few more ways to link ideas, but keep them natural.
coherence and cohesion
Some main points need a little more support. You can add a short real world example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
You answer the full question and give your opinion clearly in the end.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic and all ideas are related to plants, animals, and human action.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized into clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and useful.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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