IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

#people #countries #time #effects
Nowadays, individuals in many
countries
 are devoting minimal
time
 to their close ones.
This
 is attributed to numerous reasons
such
 as busy work schedules and living at far away distances.
Consequently
, huge effects on family relationships and deviation from one’s culture are some of the resulting components which will be discussed
further
 in
this
 essay. On the one hand, there are several factors owing to which people in today’s era are unable to dedicate more
time
 to their families. Starting , individuals nowadays are so occupied with their professional commitments that fulfilling their requirements takes away most of their energy, thereby, leaving them burned out.
This
 results in low physical and mental energy which does not allow them to spend
time
 with their family members on daily basis.
Furthermore
, sometimes in order to get a good education and well-deserving jobs, aspiring adults have to relocate themselves, resulting in an increased living
distance
 from their families. According to a recent study, the international migration rates to the
countries
 like Canada, Australia and New Zealand have augmented by 20% in the
last
 five years.
Therefore
, engaging in professions and residing at
distance
 are some of the causes behind the masses spending less family
time
.
Consequently
, with an increase in
distance
, there is a decrease in mutual understanding among all the family members. Because of the
time
 difference, people living in different
countries
 are unable to stay in contact with each other on a regular basis.
This
 not only adds up to the
distance
 but
also
 weakens the family bonds.
Moreover
, when individuals are interacting less with their family members, there are chances of them getting deviated away from their cultural identity and religious beliefs. To exemplify, most Sikh migrants from India, cut their hair after moving to western
countries
, which is not acceptable in their culture.
This
 is attributed to their lack of communication with their family. In conclusion, tied-up work schedules and increasing distances from closed ones are some of the reasons why adults are not able to invest their
time
 in their families,
hence
, affecting their personal relations and cultural beliefs.
Submitted by harleenkaurmanocha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • predominant
  • commitments
  • imbalance
  • digital technology
  • social media
  • globalization
  • weakened
  • disconnected
  • strain
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • developmental issues
  • behavioral problems
  • parental guidance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: