Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
There have always been arguments about whether qualities are the result of experiences or
people
are born with Correct word choice
whether people
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, in my opinion, I think they largely depend on the person’s process of growing rather than being born with and can not be changed.
On one hand, the only thing a person have
after being born is their body and everything within it. Change the verb form
has
Thus
, an individual’s personality can not be the outcome of their genetics but instead
it ought to be transformed throughout their lifetime with experiences and achievements. Add a comma
instead,
Additionally
, having a beautiful body, especially face
, can not give Correct article usage
a face
the
person a better life compared to others but it Correct article usage
a
also
depends on other factors such
as being knowledgable
or Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
social
relationships. Add a missing verb
having social
For example
, even though they are able to change body parts due to
the development of medical studies, the surgery can not interfere the
patient’s perspective and way of thinking, Change preposition
with the
not to mention
their personality.
On the other hand
, I strongly agree that it is accomplishments and events that happened
throughout our growth Wrong verb form
happen
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
what
Correct word choice
that
defines
a person’s qualities. If everyone follows the same instructions and rules in order to achieve perfectness, it will create nothing but boredom and similarity among the society, Correct subject-verb agreement
define
hence
can not stimulate development in each individual. What is more, personality is mostly effected
by habits being repeated day by day Correct your spelling
affected
as well as
their perspectives in life. For instance
, one who is loaded with the
emergency skills Correct article usage
apply
as well as
being aware of helping others are more likely to save people who are in danger.
To sum up
, despite opposing perspectives about whether personalities and developments is
influenced by what people are born with or by their experiences, I believe that it is the result of daily habits and what they have Change the verb form
are
came
across throughout their lifetime.Change the form of the verb
come
Submitted by doibichhoa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fair level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure and supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a comprehensive overview of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the task by presenting a clear response and showcasing a variety of relevant specific examples. However, it would benefit from further development to ensure a more comprehensive and clear presentation of ideas.