Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
With the fast development in recent years, children
are having
many different Wrong verb form
have
personalities
. Some research indicates that these personalities
and developments are influenced by the characteristics they are born with much more than their experiences
. Personally, I consider experiences
they have in their lives to be the major influence.
First and foremost, one’s Correct article usage
the experiences
personalities
can Fix the agreement mistake
personality
practice
and become Wrong verb form
be practised
habits
from their everyday life. Apart from some research I have seen before, they said that it has just 21 days to create new habits
in people
especially
in the youth. Add the comma(s)
, especially
For example
, when someone meets a girl who likes reading books every night before going to sleep and they find that she inspires them, they try to imitate her and read books every night for 21 days, they will have a habit of reading some books before sleeping.
Secondly
, experiences
and environments affect their thoughts and their habits
. When people
live in a certain environment, they will always try to blend into it so as not to get out of the community. We can easily see that many spend most of their time working and studying so that their best friends and their close colleagues may have the same personalities
as them. For instance
, someone who is not very hard-working but they study
and Wrong verb form
studies
contact
many hard-working and intelligent Correct subject-verb agreement
contacts
people
, after a while
, they
will be more diligent. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In contrast
, some people
believe that one’s personality and developments
can not be changed by Fix the agreement mistake
development
experiences
in daily life. However
, I find that almost all people
's personalities
can be changed, have new habits
for a
long term that are not easily seen or Correct article usage
the
they
are affected by their families.
In conclusion, we can not negate that the characteristics they were born with influenced their Correct pronoun usage
apply
personalities
and developments, but the important affection is their experiences
and their
environment they are formed in their everyday life.Change the word
the
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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion. However, the ideas presented lack depth and specificity, which affects the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure but lacks coherence due to the use of unclear and unrelated examples. The introduction provides a clear opinion, but the conclusion needs to be more concise and impactful. Additionally, the essay lacks clear transitions between ideas and examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.