Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #year #school #university #travel #work

It is observed that some pupils have a period off before attending university. There are both merits and demerits, and I think the benefits would be greater than the drawbacks. On the one hand, taking a time off has many advantages.

First

of all, having a gap year makes pupils have diverse experiences. Through gap year journey, they can take direct or indirect experiences that have they never had, facing new various cultures and people who are in diverse fields and different people that they have faced. They can not only experience the cultures of other nations but

also

be taught a foreign language.

Secondly

, it would be the preparation process for university. Pupils would study

additionally

the parts necessary to the college processes but they lack.

Moreover

, if they cannot decide major yet, working in areas about their major is help to decide it and earn money for tuition themselves.

On the other hand

, there are some disadvantages which is cannot be ignored.

Firstly

, In terms of study, it is discouragement. The longer period, students rest from studying,

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the more likely they are to forget the content they learnt and how to study. If they rest from studying, they cannot understand the content educated in the college. The

second

demerit is it can be a waste. When students do not spend time efficiently and gain something through it, it can be just a waste.

Moreover

, if

although

they go abroad, they cannot adapt there and come back to their nations, a waste of money, which is invested

such

as airfare and start-up costs, can occur. In conclusion,

although

students taking a period off after graduating has some drawbacks, it has

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bigger benefits enough to offset the risk.

Thus

I argue taking a gap year should be encouraged.

Submitted by eomjimin0711 on Wed Aug 17 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

By punishing murderers with death penalty, society is guilty of commiting murder.Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber-crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?