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Band 6.5

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #year #school #university #travel #work
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It is observed that some pupils have a period off before attending university. There are both merits and demerits, and I think the benefits would be greater than the drawbacks. On the one hand, taking a time off has many advantages.
First
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 of all, having a gap year makes pupils have diverse experiences. Through gap year journey, they can take direct or indirect experiences that have they never had, facing new various cultures and people who are in diverse fields and different people that they have faced. They can not only experience the cultures of other nations but
also
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 be taught a foreign language.
Secondly
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, it would be the preparation process for university. Pupils would study
additionally
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 the parts necessary to the college processes but they lack.
Moreover
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, if they cannot decide major yet, working in areas about their major is help to decide it and earn money for tuition themselves.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages which is cannot be ignored.
Firstly
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, In terms of study, it is discouragement. The longer period, students rest from studying,
is
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the more likely they are to forget the content they learnt and how to study. If they rest from studying, they cannot understand the content educated in the college. The
second
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 demerit is it can be a waste. When students do not spend time efficiently and gain something through it, it can be just a waste.
Moreover
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, if
although
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 they go abroad, they cannot adapt there and come back to their nations, a waste of money, which is invested
such
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 as airfare and start-up costs, can occur. In conclusion,
although
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 students taking a period off after graduating has some drawbacks, it has
the
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bigger benefits enough to offset the risk.
Thus
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 I argue taking a gap year should be encouraged.
Submitted by eomjimin0711 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Academic momentum
  • Practical experience
  • Financial pressures
  • Interim period
  • Soft skills
  • Maturity
  • Independence
  • Career exploration
  • Re-adjustment
  • Social setbacks
  • Informed decision-making
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