It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Gender
roles in taking care of children is a topic which is having a lot of discussion these days. I completely disagree with the statement that women
need to be stay-at-home moms and that men
are not good enough for childcare. This
disagreement is because increase in gender
equality and changes in family structures.
Modern society is moving towards gender
equality at
homes and Change preposition
in
workplace
where Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
men
and women
are working equally to earn. With this
rise, it is important to not assign certain roles to a particular gender
instead
work can be divided equally among the family. To illustrate this
, in India, 55% of women
in metropolitan cities are working alongside men
to provide for their families. However
, the families of these women
are expecting them to take responsibility for their kids
after work with little to no support from their spouses.
The change in family structures is another big reason for my disagreement. Society is moving towards nuclear families where the kids
are not getting any kind of support from their grandparents. Additionally
, stay-at-home dads and dual-income households are taking this
taboo from the wives in taking care of the children. For example
, in recent years the percentage of fathers who are taking the initiative of childcare by staying at home is increasing gradually. Where it is estimated that men
in 3 of 10 households are interested in staying at home and raising their kids
. It is also
worth mentioning that skills for caregiving are not inherently tied to male or female and that many men
are capable of nurturing and taking responsibility for their kids
.
In conclusion, the stereotype that mothers are responsible for nurturing their children and that fathers are not capable is a wrong statement. This
is because of the rise in fathers staying at home and dual-income households and the increase in gender
equality where wives are expected to earn.Submitted by Devika on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. While your main ideas are clear, try to ensure each paragraph logically flows to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Your response is complete and clear, but you could further elaborate on some points. Providing additional details or nuance, especially in your examples, will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the essay well. This helps the reader understand your standpoint from the beginning.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which enhances the credibility of your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite