Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Many people stated that money is the only method that can determine an individual’s success. From my point of view, I partly agree with
this
view.
On the one hand, a lot of people are truly successful in certain fields, ,,
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however
they still died in poverty. Add a comma
,however
For example
, in Vietnam, a famous singer named Hai Long is very successful and has contributed many valuable songs to his country’s entertainment industry, ,,
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however
he still could not buy a house or even own a car. Add a comma
,however
However
, every Vietnamese knows him well due to all of his contributions to their country. Besides
that, teachers who do not have a high salary,,
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however
successfully educate the young generation who play an extremely significant role in future development.
On the other hand
, there are some successful individuals who earn very high pay. Today, due to the high demand for technology and the science field, scientists and IT technicians can easily earn a lot of money. For example
, Elon Musk the owner of the Tesla group is extremely successful in the technology area and he is one of the top billionaires in the world. Another example is Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft is famous for his great achievements for the State’s economy and technology development. Even though,
success cannot be determined by money but it sometimes works in some circumstances.
In conclusion, an individual’s success cannot be measured by their assets, it is more important to focus on their task achievements and how they contribute to social life and their surroundings.Remove the comma
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Submitted by caotuongvy117 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite