In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In today's modern world, International flights have increased very much in the
last
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few years. As more
students
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are planning to study abroad and families spending their vacations outside their home country. International
students
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and tourism are the two major reasons for global air travel these days. Unlike, the old-time
students
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now
preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
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to study abroad in new places especially, the Western countries like the 'USA and Canada'
offer
Correct pronoun usage
which offer
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quality, education, better opportunities and better living standards for newcomers.
On the other hand
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, beautiful holiday destinations like the UAE have become the undeniable choice for families to spend their vacations every once a year.
Moreover
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, commercial flights
also
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provide great discounts or benefits to the passengers who
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
to visit
this
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city for their holidays. Recently conducted research has shown that the UAE has become the ultimate choice of tourists to spend their vacations, which used to be European countries sometime back. There are many advantages
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due
Change preposition
apply
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to
this
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travel.
firstly
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, tourism contributes greatly to the country's economy because of
this
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reason local governments are now working towards improving the
overall
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conditions and hygiene of their monuments.
Additionally
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, the local residents are trying to learn the foreign language and their culture. In order to communicate with the new visitors which promotes the business activity of that place.
Therefore
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, it is helping people to understand each other and work together.
To conclude
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, Global air travel contributes positively worldwide. It is not only making holidays special but
also
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a convenient choice for
students
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who are focusing on their careers.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use a more varied range of connectors and cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph develops one clear main point.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your topic sentences to better guide the reader on what each paragraph will discuss. This will help in achieving clearer main points and improve the logical structure.
task achievement
While you provided examples, including more specific data or instances related to your points could enhance the argumentation and depth of your essay.
task achievement
Work on providing a wider vocabulary range. This will help to better express your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
The discussion about students studying abroad and tourism as significant contributors to increasing air travel is well noted and relevant.
task achievement
The concluding statement effectively summarizes your viewpoint and relates back to the main discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Disposable income
  • Aviation technology
  • Efficient
  • Proliferation
  • Budget airlines
  • Globalization
  • Tourism
  • Social media
  • Promotional activities
  • Economic development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Over-tourism
  • Local resources
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