IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you thinkthis is a positive or negative situation?

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In some societies, individuals care about having their own residence
instead
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 of renting one.
This
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 essay will analyze the reasons
as well as
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 my own opinion about
this
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 situation. Some people say renting a
house
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 does not give the impression of having a
house
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 by yourself.
Initially
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, owning a residence means that you can live in it as far as you want, and it does not depend on other's
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
.
Also
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, they can decorate their home the way they like,
hence
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 some owners do not let them have changes in their residence. For these reasons, many people rather use the mortgage and pay the debt
instead
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 of paying the rent every month for another one's
house
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.
Although
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 renting is a good opportunity for accommodation, in my view, buying a
house
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 means you don't have to be worried about the rent every month, it is true that you may have a bigger one by renting, but working harder for a
while
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, and buying a smaller place, provides relief of financial concerns for a lifetime. So I believe it is a positive way of thinking.
For example
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, in Iran, people sell their cars, work harder and borrow money to buy a state because the price of renting is rising constantly in that country, so if they have their own place, they will not be worried about financial problems in
this
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 case. In conclusion, many individuals may put themselves in hard circumstances for a
while
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 to buy a
house
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 to prevent financial problems in the future.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 provides the opportunity to have a place in your own way how you like.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there's a clear overarching structure to your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and a conclusion that summarises your argument without introducing new information. Aim for clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively but don't overuse them. Make sure that the relationship between sentences and paragraphs is clear. Transitions should be smooth, not mechanical or forced.
task achievement
Ensure you thoroughly address all parts of the task. Present a clear position throughout the response and avoid repeating the same ideas or concepts. Each paragraph should bring a new point to your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas should be developed enough to give the examiner a complete understanding of your opinions and arguments. Use examples to clarify and support your ideas, but make sure they are directly connected to the question prompt.
task achievement
When providing personal opinions or examples, they must be relevant and enhance your argument. Examples should be easily understood and strengthen the point you are making.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • symbol of stability
  • financial security
  • mortgage payments
  • long-term investment
  • appreciate over time
  • family legacy
  • personalization
  • community involvement
  • economic growth
  • vested interest
  • tax incentives
  • societal stability
  • housing solution
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