ii. #Health | #Sports - Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (IELTS 9, AC)

#ii #health #sports #people #facilities #effect #measures #ielts #ac

From the advent of the modern ,time

people

have taken

sports

as the supreme way of entertainment tremendously.

This

conception helped

people

to keep their minds fresh, bodies fit and indirectly make active whole immune system. But in today's ,world there are some arguments regarding the sport's effectiveness on

health

solely by the

people

Firstly

, in recent times human beings are up to their eyeballs at home and office even at daily activities anywhere.

Such

types of activities lead

people

to pass their time with technology and busyness whereas they need to enhance their intellectual and physical abilities to perform their mental and hard work. Here, to keep their mind fresh and to keep body fit,

sports

can contribute a lot. Playing football can be the ideal example to show the effectiveness of the

sports

that helps the students to make active and nourish their brain, make instant palan, keep body fit, remove depression and create least chances for obesity. So, in the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

offices the superior authority can take some initiatives to make their subordinates ensure active participation and become enthusiastic by arranging some indoor

sports

like summing, table tennis, indoor cricket etc.

Secondly

sports

can not be taken in isolation as a way of keeping the body fit and developing intellectual ability whereas, other measures like meditation, counselling, showing motivational movies and interactive tours can

also

play a vital role in upgrading the public mental and physical

health

Such

types of arrangements are

also

cost-effective for the government and even concerning authority in comparison with

sports

. At the end of the day, the population will be benefitted from

health

measures and the economy will be empowered by saving money and contributing to the development areas. So, I believe that the authority should take decisions regarding

sports

into consideration of their contemporary demands and motives.

Furthermore

, only

sports

are not fully sufficient to ensure the perfectness of human

health

, they need other ways of rejuvenation.

Submitted by Udayshankar on Thu Aug 18 2022

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that to learn a second language well it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken.What is your opinion about this?

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Scientists argue that many people eat too much junk food, and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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