Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #prison #sentences #crime

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Crime

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is always one of the most serious problems across the world. Regarding

crime

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treatment, there are opinions that

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

period of

prison

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is necessary to get rid of illegal actions,

whereas

Linking Words

others suggest that

should be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

other ways are supposed to be more beneficial. In the following essay, I will give opinions on both views, followed by my point of view supporting the latter idea.

To begin

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with, many

people

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propose that long

prison

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confines should be used as the most effective punishment for criminals as it can fear offenders and prevent

people

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from crimes better.

However

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, no matter how strict the sentence

, unless

Add a missing verb

is, unless

show examples

the

crime

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is exposed, it will not show any effect in advance. To cite an example, in some undeveloped regions, because of poverty and low

education

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Linking Words

also

Rephrase

as well as

show examples

laxity in management,

crime

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has developed significantly that could not easily

solve

Wrong verb form

be solved

show examples

by longer

prison

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time only.

On the other hand

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, to tackle any issues, especially crimes, it is not only punishment but

also

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the causes that should be considered as a pivotal point. The obvious core causes which led to committing crimes could be insufficient lives and lack of

education

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Therefore

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instead

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of profounding strict sentences, and confining

people

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prison

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cells,

education

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and

people

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's basic needs should be more concentrated in order to solve the problems from the root.

To sum up

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, I think that longer confines are one of the choices

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can consider and apply to the law,

however

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, it is still unsatisfactory for reducing

crime

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Instead

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of that, improving

people

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's lives and the general

education

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system is a better way for the

Linking Words

further

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

future.

Submitted by nguyenphuonghoangyen10701 on Thu Aug 18 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction lacks a clear restatement of the two views and a clear indication of the writer's opinion. It would be more effective to clearly outline the two different perspectives and the opinion in the introduction.

task achievement

The essay provides a decent response to the task by discussing both views and offering a clear opinion. However, the examples used to support the ideas could be more specific and relevant to strengthen the arguments.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

"Prevention is better than cure". Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some People believe that it is the responsibility of the individuals to take care of their own health.Others believe that government should make sure that their citizen are healthy. discuss both views.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Write advantages and disadvantages of child labour.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.