Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Crime
is always one of the most serious problems across the world. Regarding crime
treatment, there are opinions that long
period of Correct article usage
a long
prison
is necessary to get rid of illegal actions, whereas
others suggest that should be
other ways are supposed to be more beneficial. In the following essay, I will give opinions on both views, followed by my point of view supporting the latter idea.
Verb problem
apply
To begin
with, many people
propose that long prison
confines should be used as the most effective punishment for criminals as it can fear offenders and prevent people
from crimes better. However
, no matter how strict the sentence, unless
the Add a missing verb
is, unless
crime
is exposed, it will not show any effect in advance. To cite an example, in some undeveloped regions, because of poverty and low education
, also
laxity in management, Rephrase
as well as
crime
has developed significantly that could not easily solve
by longer Wrong verb form
be solved
prison
time only.
On the other hand
, to tackle any issues, especially crimes, it is not only punishment but also
the causes that should be considered as a pivotal point. The obvious core causes which led to committing crimes could be insufficient lives and lack of education
. Therefore
, instead
of profounding strict sentences, and confining people
in prison
cells, education
and people
's basic needs should be more concentrated in order to solve the problems from the root.
To sum up
, I think that longer confines are one of the choices government
can consider and apply to the law, Correct article usage
the government
however
, it is still unsatisfactory for reducing crime
. Instead
of that, improving people
's lives and the general education
system is a better way for the further
future.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by nguyenphuonghoangyen10701 on
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coherence and cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear restatement of the two views and a clear indication of the writer's opinion. It would be more effective to clearly outline the two different perspectives and the opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay provides a decent response to the task by discussing both views and offering a clear opinion. However, the examples used to support the ideas could be more specific and relevant to strengthen the arguments.