Money cannot buy happiness it is often claim but with money you can buy most of thing that are necessary for happiness good food accommodation entertainment travel quality health etc no wonder most people want to make as money as possible do you agree or disagree

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Some advocates suppose that
money
is unable to pay for joy, whereas others think that
money
is significant to afford
things
creating
happiness
such
as good products, housing, recreation, travelling or
health
quality. In my perspective, I strongly agree that
money
can be purchased to serve human
happiness
. As some
people
say, joyful moments can not be bought by
money
because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can not buy
health
. Obviously, when a person is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the boundary between
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
and death,
money
cannot be used to better
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
.
Furthermore
,
money
can not keep time. Precisely, time is an abstract thing that nobody can hold or control. It is flowing, not waiting for anyone.
Although
there is much
money
, time is not never able to be bought. Day by day,
people
are getting old and regret that
things
were done or not done. Even though
money
can not buy
happiness
, it has
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to buy many
things
which result in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
please
Add a comma
,please
show examples
.
Money
can not buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
, but it helps
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
improve
health
problems through
work-out
Correct your spelling
workout
show examples
machines,
paying
Correct word choice
and paying
show examples
for gym classes to enhance
the
Change the word
their
show examples
health
.
Moreover
,
money
is a means of relaxation. Particularly, trips with family and friends assist
people
in escaping stress after swamped days. Without worry and overthinking,
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
in a good mood, the
health
is balanced;
therefore
, it
lenthens
Correct your spelling
lengthens
the life expectancy.
For example
, being stressed is not as efficient in jobs as who are relaxed by travelling. In conclusion,
although
some
people
think that
money
can not buy
happiness
, I strongly agree that
money
can not buy
happiness
but can buy
things
seving
Correct your spelling
serving
for
happiness
.
Submitted by phuongbaouyenngo1 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Material wealth
  • Financial security
  • Life satisfaction
  • Quality of life
  • Consumerism
  • Affluence
  • Wealth accumulation
  • Prosperity
  • Economic strata
  • Experiential purchases
  • Philanthropy
  • Intrinsic values
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Subjective well-being
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