An increasing number of people are changing careers during their working life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development for society?

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Change is an inevitable part of
life
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. Nowadays most
people
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are moving their careers during work
life
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.
This
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is
due to
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find
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finding
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self-satisfaction by following their passion
while
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trying to gain high monetary value. Today I will discuss and explain its positive and negative impacts on society.
To begin
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with, most
people
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do not have an understanding of what they want to do in their
life
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and they end up taking the wrong course at university. But later on, they decide to follow their passion to attain a sense of satisfaction.
For instance
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, my cousin studied medicine at her university but realised her love for baking afterwards. So presently she owns a small cake shop.
Secondly
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, a large group of
people
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choose money over anything else.
Hence
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to obtain more monetary value they switch jobs to get an increment or a promotion. To illustrate, I have currently switched my job from TD Bank to RBC Bank
due to
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senior level position with double the hike in comparison to my latter pay. To explain it
further
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, the positive side of switching careers is it brings a sense of achievement and fulfilment to an individual
life
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and society.
On the other hand
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, loyalty towards an employer is lost in
this
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generation and they may have to retain employees if salaries are not market par. To sum it up, I would like to say that moving careers during their working
life
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will bring new and improved skills to
people
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but employers may suffer from losses in employee retention.
Submitted by mayuri_3006 on

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Task Response
Although you made relevant points about career change motivations, further exploration of other potential factors like evolving job markets or work-life balance could enhance your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a seamless flow between ideas – some transitions in the essay could be smoother for better readability and logical connection.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your arguments, providing a clear sense of direction.
Task Response
You provided specific examples, such as your cousin's career change, which add depth to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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