IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people see animals as tools to be used by humans to better their lives. They believe animals should help feed us and keep us healthy by being subjects to experiments that will lead to new medications and medical processes. Others believe that animals should have the same rights to a good life as humans. Discuss both views and state your own.

It is often argued that
animals
Use synonyms
 should be used for consumption or for experimental research for the betterment and advancement of human lives,
while
Linking Words
 others think that they should be given fair treatment just as well.
This
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 essay will explain both opinions before giving a conclusion. On the one hand, it's been practised since ancient times to
use
Use synonyms
animals
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 as
food
Correct article usage
a food
show examples
 source. It is
also
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 common to
use
Use synonyms
 them for research purposes for
progression of the
Correct word order
the progression of
show examples
 society. Animal testing contributes to life-saving cures and treatments. It is crucial to
use
Use synonyms
 them to ensure the safety of vaccines and various medical products.
For instance
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, the
use
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 of vaccines to defend people against sicknesses like coronavirus, flu, dengue and etc. Before giving medicines and vaccines to people, they have to make sure that it is safe and will not cause harm.
Therefore
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, they have to test it on
animals
Use synonyms
 first since they are similar to human beings in some way
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they
also
Linking Words
 have a shorter life cycle compared to humans.
On the other hand
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, using
animals
Use synonyms
 for research experiments is cruel and very inhumane
to do
Verb problem
apply
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. Even though there are laws and regulations that
prevented
Wrong verb form
prevent
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 animal abuse, some researchers are still doing experiments that lead to animal cruelty.
In addition
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, there is a variety of methods to conduct examinations that
won't
Correct your spelling
don't
use
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animals
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, for the reason
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that even though treatments are safe to
use
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 in
animals
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, it doesn't mean it is
also
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 safe to
use
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 on humans. In my opinion, using
animals
Use synonyms
 for medical purposes may probably aid people in several sicknesses
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
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, it doesn't guarantee that the effects it has are the same as humans.
Therefore
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, there might be another approach to
use
Use synonyms
 without using
animals
Use synonyms
, for the benefit of society.

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structure
Plan your ideas before you write. Make a simple map of what you want to say.
coherence
Make clear links between ideas so the flow is easy to read.
content
Give more clear reasons and simple examples to back up your view.
content
You discuss both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
There are some real examples like vaccines mentioned.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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