Some people think that the government should pay one of the parents of very young children to stay at home to look after their children. What do you think would be the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

In recent times, most parents have become a considerable
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
about taking
care
of their adolescents because of a busy schedule, some people strongly believe that the authority should fund parental
care
. The main advantage of
this
trend is that it would help to take
care
of their
children
and the drawback is that it can affect the economy. On the one hand, receiving welfare from the authority has a crucial role in its society, the main advantage of
this
is that it would help certainly to
care
for their
children
because they can resign their jobs and can do their parental responsibility and can monitor
children
's weak points about education and personality. without
hire
Replace the word
hiring
show examples
nannies or daycare. Without financially stable parents they need to work for making
Correct your spelling
money
amoney
Correct your spelling
money
,as a consequence, it can affect
children
's mental health because of insufficient parental bonds
thus
, funds will positively affect
children
's life.
For instance
, research shows in undeveloped countries , that amateur
children
have been affected with mental health problems compared to developed countries because of without parental
care
.
This
way, the community considering adequate funds in the government, a
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
personality traits development from looking at their parents.
that is
why especially younger
children
need effective parent caring
On the other hand
, the negative aspect of
this
phenomenon is that it can affect the economy in undeveloped countries, the main factors that the state has to focus on
health
Add a missing verb
are health
show examples
, education and development. if the authority
allocate
Change the verb form
allocates
show examples
a large part of parental funds
Submitted by Sasha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: