IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say the computers can translate languages, so children need not study foreign languages anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that technologies,
such
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 as computer have developed
translation
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 features to make life easier, especially when communicating with different
languages
Use synonyms
.
This
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 can lead to the fact that learning foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 is not mandatory from a young age.
Although
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 some may agree with
this
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 view, I am opposed to it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that learning foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 at a young age is giving benefit beyond using simple
translation
Use synonyms
. To illustrate,
languages
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 can help
children
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 develop personal skills.
Moreover
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, improving all of aspects of ability ,
such
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 as learning other
languages
Use synonyms
, is difficult , so they will have problem-solving skills, concentration, utilise brain memory, and cultural awareness.
For example
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, communicating in a language not their mother tongue fluently shows that
children
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 are confident in delivering meanings and translating accurately.
In addition
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, being able to communicate directly with people from other countries can build stronger relationships and trust rather than relying on a device.
This
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 is especially important in real-life if planning to study or work abroad. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
translation
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 technology is not always accurate or suitable for every situation. To clarify, an automated system may have tons of knowledge,
however
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, lacking critical thinking to use in the right context,
such
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 as idioms, exaggerated words or expressions of meanings.
For example
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, the feature
translation
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 may give the right meanings , but sounds unrealistic
due to
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 its
translation
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 as individual words.
Furthermore
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, if
children
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 rely on technology to make their lives quicker and easier,
however
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, the fact that they may face some difficulties when the internet is not accessible or poorly connected, which affects their understanding or ability to respond promptly and appropriately. To recapitulate, it is evident that
while
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 computers offer convenience, learning foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 remains important for cognitive development, cultural understanding and independent communication.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that
children
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 should not rely on technology for its convenience, but use it as a supportive device for learning in other
languages
Use synonyms
 rather than replacing it.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body part.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some lines are too long and hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Add clearer support for each main point with one strong example.
task achievement
Answer the question more clearly by saying why you disagree from the start.
task achievement
Explain your ideas in a simpler and fuller way.
task achievement
Use examples that are more specific and real.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a simple 4-part structure that is easy to see.
task achievement
You answer the question and keep to the topic.
task achievement
Your main view is clear: children should still learn languages.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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